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HatePlow: Everybody dies
18/05/10 || Daemonomania
Hooray for Florida. A combination of pleasant weather, alligators, and the watchful spirit of Evil Chuck ensures that quality metal will forever flow from its boggy morass. As you can see from the cast of characters below, HatePlow is comprised of several favorite sons of the Sunshine State. Drawn from Cannibal Corpse, Malevolent Creation, and The Ricky Martin Experience respectively.
HatePlow, when not clearing the HateSnow from the highways, play a mean-spirited mix of death and grind, plus a neverending basket of thrash influence breadsticks. All the signs indicating side project are present: funny lyrics, low-effort songwriting, small number of releases. For a band that exists thanks to spare time, however, they do carry a bit of recognition and the 2000 album “The only law is survival” is supposed to be pretty killer. While “Everybody dies” does have some great moments, if they had only released this one album in 1998 it is doubtful anyone would remember ‘em now.
Why? Lack of consistency. For every Jaws there’s an Orca. For every Die Hard there’s a The Last Boyscout. For every Conan, a Red Sonja. And so on. The VERY un-P.C. and therefore most awesome tracks include “Challenged” (subj: making fun of retarded people), “Crackdown” (subj: hunting and killing crackheads), “In the ditch” (subj: getting beat up when drunk), “Ante up” (subj: u r a stupid druggie), and “Compound” (subj: Branch Davidian style activities). Don’t forget a champion among death/grind novelty tunes, “Ass to mouth resuscitation”. Sample lyrics:
My mouth is to your ass
My tongue is up your crack
My breath, it smells like shit
My teeth are stained black
…and let’s not forget the immutable…
Some say it’s sick, they don’t understand
An ass in your face makes you a man
Truer words were never spoken. So if you’re the type of ATMer who downloads, choose the songs I’ve mentioned. The rest are piss-take quick grind affairs or don’t have enough juicy riffage to make it through their running time.
Sometimes I feel the need for a score in between the .5’s – because nothing in our current system really fits for “Everybody dies”. A 6.5 is too low – more entertainment is present than that. A 7 is just a tad too high, as the songwriting doesn’t warrant it. 6.8 would be just about right. Alas, not a choice. So just squint real hard at the number below and a few tenths should magically appear.
- Information
- Released: 1998
- Label: Pavement/System Shock
- Website: www.hateplow.net
- Band
- Kyle Symons: vocals
- Phil Fasciana: guitar
- Rob Barrett: guitar
- Tim Scott: bass
- Larry Hawke: drums
- Tracklist
- 01. Everybody Dies
- 02. Stalker
- 03. Prison Bitch
- 04. $20.00 Blowjob
- 05. Challenged
- 06. The Gift Giver
- 07. Crackdown
- 08. In The Ditch
- 09. Ass To Mouth Resuscitation
- 10. Compound
- 11. Ante Up
- 12. Anally Annie
- 13. Denial
- 14. Born With Both/ Sunshine of Your Love/ Pepe Lopez song
